Bridey Thelen-Heidel
Bright Eyes-A Memoir
June 5, 2025
4 PM PDT | 5 PM MDT | 6 PM CDT | 7 PM EDT
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I’ve read my share of memoirs about real-life monsters—mothers, fathers, brothers, teachers—and marvel at the way those brave writers end their stories by forgiving the seemingly unforgivable—sometimes to their face and sometimes at their grave. After applauding the writer’s courage for telling tough truths, I usually find myself with questions: Why didn’t she leave sooner? Where did he find forgiveness for his father? How did she decide to become a mother when she risked repeating the same abusive cycles?

I realized that was the story I could tell—the one about not only surviving real life monsters but also learning how to live without them—even though I was addicted to the adrenaline rush of rescuing them—and myself.

Writing Bright Eyes meant reintroducing myself to the monsters, which wasn’t easy but also not nearly as scary as when I was young because now I knew they weren’t real: My monsters were just broken humans who couldn’t—or wouldn’t—be fixed. Once I gave my body permission to let the stories go—the ones I’d never even told to myself—they came out fast and sometimes furious. I wrote by hand because I’d read that it’s a more effective way to access memories. I also used the Google microphone tool and spoke many of the stories onto the screen—some were deleted and some burned in our fireplace. Dramatic but cathartic.

I’d been waiting for my mom to die to tell our story, but as the saying goes, “Only the good die young.” By the grace of known and unknown forces, it turned out there was a much happier ending for my memoir that didn’t involve me dancing on my mother’s grave—one that was more about me and less about her—which wasn’t ever the way our story went.

Bright Eyes was my nickname as a child, and it became the memoir’s title because it symbolizes the conditioned optimism, required resilience, and forced bravery I learned in order to survive my mother’s addiction to dangerous men and their drugs—and how I used those same qualities to leave—and never look back.

My memoir released nine months ago, and I’ll share what I know now that I didn’t then:

• My story isn’t as unique as I thought—and there’s magic in that
• Creating an author website two years before publishing was the best advice I’ve taken
• How (I think) my memoir sold out (nearly 2000 copies) BEFORE it launched
• The actual cost of hybrid publishing, and why it’s been worth every penny
• A “book tour” is a marathon, not a sprint—if we have the stamina
• Getting excited about our story is contagious—in all the best ways

Bio
Bridey Thelen-Heidel is a teacher, TEDx speaker, and cast member of Listen To Your Mother NYC. Her memoir, Bright Eyes, earned a Zibby Award “Best Story of Overcoming,” New York City Big Book Award  “Distinguished Favorite,” and Runner-up from the San Francisco Writers’ Festival. A fierce LGBT+ youth advocate, Bridey has been celebrated by the California Teachers’ Association. She’s also partnered with NAMI as well as domestic violence and child abuse resource agencies, speaking about defeating our monsters but also learning to live without them.

Website: Bridey-ThelenHeidel.com
TEDx: ROB the Trauma: Steal Back Your Life